Championship Weak

By: jon | June 3rd, 2008

DC United is all the rage on Comcast Sports Net this week, with a replay of (almost) all of their MLS Cup matches, and interviews with players, coaches, and other soccer related folks. The one I’m most looking forward to? When Bruce Arena comes on Wednesday night, and proclaims to the world that Tom Soehn is fired and he’s come to save the day. Not really.

Amongst all of the reminiscing on CSN, there’s the constant mention of the team’s current struggles. Against the backdrop of league domination, it’s an evermore depressing dichotomy. This team, as has been said all season long by me and many others, is dynamite on paper. Sure, there were some weak spots that were visible to the knowledgeable fan, but for the most part, DC looked like a lock for the Supporter’s Shield yet again.

We had the brand new, shiny Designated Player from Argentina to save our souls. We had Mr. Golden Boot himself, the charismatic, goal scoring machine, Luciano Emilio. Fred was supposed to rediscover his A-League scoring touch. Zach Wells was supposed to blossom with his new opportunity to be the #1 finally.

But none of these things have happened. And the team doesn’t know what to do with itself under the weight of under performance and heavy expectations. A team with the legacy (albeit in a baby League) and history was not supposed to stink this bad. A team that had always seemed to demolish the opponents with efficiency and precision was now heartless, and confused.

The last two games were absolute bittersweet indicators of where this team is right now. Against Toronto at home, Danny Dichio scored at will and the defense had very little to say about it. DC got the three points, but none of the goals were convincing. Two were on goalie mistakes, and one was a gift from Marvell Wynne. In New England, DCU of last year played the first half, and then some other team came out and capitulated. It was like the reverse of what happened in Mighty Ducks 2.

(Luckily, the Revs aren’t coached by Wolf Stansson, or Gallardo would have had his knee broken)

Wednesday night pits two teams that are shadows of their former selves, both in need of points in the worst way. Luckily, Houston resides in the god-awful Western Conference. We’ll be there, with bells on, yelling at Emilio to shoot, saying over and over again that Tino isn’t a winger, and I’m sure someone will remind Zach that he lives in Ben Olsen’s basement when he inevitably gives up a howler.

But even if they lose, we can all watch Comcast and pretend to be back in the good old days. So crack open a can of Crystal Pepsi, pause your Melrose Place taping, turn down the Chumbawumba on the stereo, and watch DC win something.